February 2013

Wednesday February 27, 2013:
Why do folks debadge their cars? It’s obvious by doing so that you haven’t bought the highest trim of that model. And there’s nothing wrong with that mind you. But, it’s pretty ridiculous. I mean it’s not like someone buys a Mercedes AMG and decides “Hey you know? Let me take off the AMG symbol.”

Who are you trying to fool?

Tuesday February 26, 2013:
Anyone have any work related pet peeves?

The latest one to strike a nerve with me: Walk-in Customers who constantly keep the door open as if I’m being subsidized by NJ Natural Gas. Do they not realize that I pay that expensive heating bill?! If the door was closed before you went through it, why the hell would you keep it open when you got to the other side?!

Monday February 25, 2013:

“Siddown Singh!” By Raj Narayanan.

Sometimes, good things do happen to your tushy. I noticed this new comfortable-looking chair in the booth as the sun rose this morning. Just asked Singh about it. Yesterday, a customer came in and said that he has a better chair for him to use. A gift. Free of charge. Of course it’s not brand new, but I gotta tell ya folks. My cheeks ain’t complaining.

I love it when good people stroll through here. Another point for humanity….

Monday February 25, 2013:
Dear Folks With Accents,

Understand that you live in the United States of America. We welcome you here. However, you have no right to cop an attitude with someone just ’cause he asked you to repeat yourself. You have 2 responsibilities: Pay taxes and learn to enunciate. Recognize.



*Customer pulls in with the heaviest Mexican accent I have ever heard. He wanted $20 worth, but it took 3 tries for me to comprehend that. I certainly did not appreciate the lip he gave me….

Monday February 25, 2013:
Dear Sir,

While I would kill to have a sausage egg and cheese breakfast sandwich right about now, in the future please wait to take a bite until ‘after’ you tell me how much gas to fill. That tiny piece of slimy egg and greasy sausage that you accidentally hurled into my face was probably ‘the’ grossest thing I’ve experienced here thus far. And trust me, I’ve seen a lot! Thank you. XoXo. Kissy face, kissy face,



Friday February 22, 2013:
photo (4)

“Can I have just a ‘lil taste of your most luxurious Regular please?”

Folks, what am I missing here? If you can afford to drive a Mercedes CLS 500, why can’t you fill it up with Premium instead of asking for $10 of Regular? There’s just some things I will never understand….

Friday February 22, 2013:
Oh hey kids. Did I ever tell you that this place was originally an Esso/Exxon? Must have been nice to have this place booming like that back in the day. Well, I certainly got my work cut out for me!

Friday February 22, 2013:

Love it when the sunrise looks like this. Totally makes my morning….

Thursday February 21, 2013:
photo (3)

So, umm I casually mention to the Mrs. the other day that we’ve run out of hand lotion at the station. And with this brisk cold weather, our hands need some lovin. So, she tells me to take this one to the station. Hmmm….

“The Singh and I: The Most Fragrant Gas Attendants Ever.”

Coming to Broadway This Fall….

Thursday February 21, 2013:
Ladies & Gentlemen, let me explain something about Gas Cans to ya.

Red Cans are for Unleaded Fuel.
Yellow Cans are for Diesel.
Blue Cans are for Kerosene.

That’s state law by the way. And if the authorities catch a gas attendant pumping fuel into the wrong colored can, it’s an automatic $500 fine. On the attendant mind you, not the station owner. Dave the mechanic here told me that it once happened at this very station.

So kids, don’t lose your noodle if you bring the wrong can to the station and get refused service. It’s not the attendant’s fault that you’re a cheap bastard. Stop buying Starbucks coffee. Good day to you all….

Thursday February 21, 2013:
I hand the clipboard to the customer so that she could sign the credit card slip.

“Your pen is not working.”

“That’s ’cause you’re trying to sign with it upside down Ma’am.”

“Well, you don’t have to be rude about it!”

“I didn’t know speaking the truth was rude. My apologies Ma’am. I’ll get ya a double sided pen next time.”

Rajeev 1, Customer 0.

Wednesday February 20, 2013:
Exercising my First Amendment right. Speaking up against the proposed Wawa at the South Toms River Town Hall.

We had such a great rally from residents, that we broke the fire code. As a result, the police shut down the meeting so that all of us can be heard. It has been rescheduled for next month and will be moved to a much bigger location. The elementary school auditorium has been suggested….

Wednesday February 20, 2013:
“Bargaining? You Don’t Know Bargaining!” By What Will People Do Next Narayanan.

This is actually Dave the mechanic’s story, but he’s not an obsessive blogger like me, so I’ll post the story on his behalf. It’s really just that ridiculous.

A guy calls up Brooks Auto Repair with the following tragic events: “Listen man, my Father’s legs were amputated and then he passed away. My Mom has a disease. I’m 3 months behind on my mortgage. And my cat died yesterday. Can you cut me a break?”

Keep in mind that Dave had NO idea who the hell this guy was! Not a friend. Not a friend of a friend. Never been a customer. And the price he was asking for the repair was pretty much half of what it should cost.

Ummm….holy shit?

Tuesday February 19, 2013:
“Why I Sometimes Increase My Prices Before Receiving My Next Load: Demythifying The Gas Station Owner.” By Raj Narayanan

(Much of this is a copy and paste from a comment I made on my own thread 5 days ago, where I warned you guys of rising gas prices).

FACT: As the cost of buying fuel goes up, our profit margin on a per gallon basis shrinks. We can not automatically throw that added cost onto the consumer. If we did, you would see prices much closer to the $4 mark.

The winter has been a very bad time for me. Business is slow. And I’m a small fixer upper to begin with, so you can imagine the lack of volume. Anyone who thinks “Well, everyone needs gas. People will fill up regardless of price,” is making a very wrong and incorrect assumption.

Overhead: Does JCP&L care if business is slow for me? Nope. Same electric bill. Does the State of New Jersey care that business is slow for me? Nope. The cost of all my licenses and registrations to operate a gas station remains the same. Does all my insurance companies care if business is slow for me? Nope. My premiums remain the same.

So, if I have the opportunity to recoup some of that profit margin to prevent going into the red, especially during Year 1 of going into operation, will I go for it? You bet.

I also do it for Customer Service reasons. One is less likely to give us retailers shit if you see prices go up a penny or two spread out over three days than a 6 cent hike in one shot. I’ve learned that the hard way. The backlash was ridiculous. So, knowing my next load is going to cost me more money, I will slowly raise my prices (if I need to). It depends on when all my bills are due.

Anyone who thinks all gas station owners are rolling in dough needs a serious reality check. Anyone who thinks it’s easy money also needs a serious reality check. This is a very cut throat industry and it is the most stressful and hardest job I have ever held.

FACT: With a huge loan to pay back, my net personal income is less than my very first job out of college. I took that entrepreneurial risk. Why? Because I have a vision. And anyone who knows me can attest to my stubborn ways. When I’m focused, I’m focused and anyone who gets in my way will be removed immediately.

At the end of the day, it’s not about making the consumer’s life easier. It’s about staying in the green. It’s about standing on my own two feet as an American small business owner.

We work to make money. ‘Just’ like the rest of you….

Monday February 18, 2013:
This one woman has been coming in here every single day for almost a month now to fill air in one of her tires. In about 2 weeks, if she had saved those daily drops of 4 quarters, she would have had enough money for a patch.

I’m wondering if I should tell her that tomorrow and be all sexy and philanthropic like that….

Monday February 18, 2013:


For those unfamiliar with this area, here ya go. With direct access from Double Trouble Road/Railroad Avenue off the Parkway, why would anyone drive up Dover Road and frequent the other establishments when Wawa has it all?

Citgo may have a shot due to its location. But, me, the 7-Eleven, All American Deli, and all others? We’re going to take a hit.

Wawa is NOT the right establishment to help grow the small business owners of South Toms River, NJ.

Do you know what I think will help everyone out? Stick a small manufacturing plant there. Far too many products are made overseas. It will stimulate the local economy, increase job opportunities, and will grow ALL businesses in the area.

But, what the hell do I know? I’m just a rambling brown man with an impeccable bald head….

Monday February 18, 2013:
photo (1)

IMPORTANT! A Wawa is to be built in the woods directly next to me. If this proposal goes through, it will dramatically affect if not KILL all the local small businesses in this area. 7-Eleven, All American Deli, Dunkin Donuts, Citgo, Luigi’s Deli, and myself. For a first time business owner who invested in a fixer upper, this is certainly not good news.

There is a Town Hall Meeting this Wednesday (2/20/13) at 144 Mill Street in South Toms River, NJ. If you live in the vicinity of Toms River, I ask that you please attend for moral support. There’s not enough volume to support a massive business like a Wawa.

Wawa is a one-stop shop that will in no way benefit any local small business that already exists here. Why would you fill at the Delta or buy your coffee from 7-Eleven or buy your sandwich from All American Deli when Wawa has it all and you’re in a rush?

South Toms River is an extremely small town.

Sonny, the 7-Eleven/Citgo owner has been working with a law firm who has had success in preventing Wawas from being built in certain spots around the state. I hope he continues that streak.

One of the entrances to the proposed Wawa is going to be on Double Trouble Road. Folks coming off the Parkway will just head straight in. They won’t even need to go up Dover Road. Which will kill all the businesses.

Saturday February 16, 2013:

“So, Mr. Singh, how do you deal with all the stress from the crazies that come in here and disrespect you?”

“Stress? Eh. I take it all in stride.”

Friday February 14, 2013:
For the first time in months, I’m pumping gas without my hat on. My luscious perfectly symmetrical brown melon being exposed to gentle pockets of warm breezy deliciousness. You know folks? It feels kinda naughty….

Tuesday February 12, 2013:
‎”Obvious” Rules of The World, #17 and #25:

17. The more you recline the front seat, the more street cred you earn. And shit if you just rip out the whole flippin’ thing and sit in the back like High Tower did in Police Academy? Instant Gangsta status.

25. The more empty cigarette cartons you have sprawled against your backseat, the more you’re allowed to complain about not having any money, thus justifying your $2 fill. And damn if you roll in here smoking ‘while’ having a severe cold and cough? Instant Customer of The Month nomination.

Stay tuned for more “Duh” Moments here at The Delta….

Tuesday February 12, 2013:
A lady and her little son pull in. As I’m filling, I notice that the child is eating a couple of McDonalds hamburgers. It’s 7:15am folks. You ain’t getting that at this hour. That means it was leftovers. Oh how yummy.

Ladies & Gentlemen, I want to introduce you to the future Mr. Fitness USA and the proud Mommy….

Tuesday February 12, 2013:

Sun coming up ‘before’ the 7 o’clock hour now makes for one happy gas attendant….

Monday February 11, 2013:

Top 176 Things NOT To Do at a Gas Station, #43: Assume that I have super hyper turbo jets on these old raggedy pumps and proceed to leave 12 seconds after you tell me to fill $40 worth!

As if working in the cold windy rain is not annoying enough today….

Monday February 11, 2013:
So, a pastor comes in and asks for $15 worth. Mid fill, he discovers that he forgot his wallet at home. Thinking that a man of his status can be trusted, I let him go on his promise to return. He does. 20 minutes later he comes back.

Customer: “You didn’t have to trust me. Most people in your position wouldn’t. Business is business. Here’s a dollar tip for your good deed.”

So, umm does that mean I get a first class ticket to Heaven or some shit like that?

Saturday February 9, 2013:
Singh Snow Shoveling

Top 5 Reasons Why I Hired Singh, #4: “His Inability To Follow Instructions.”

So, I tell the Big Guy to open up at 7 this morning. Sleep in. Take a load off. You’ll be paid. Not many folks around here will be up early after a snow storm anyways.

Just as I was getting up, I hear my phone vibrate. Got a text message that my alarm has been disengaged from Singh. So, I log into the cameras. And this is what I see.

My Employee of The Month not only came to work a half hour early, but as I was shoveling my own driveway to get down here, Singh was already clearing the way for cars to come in safely.

You know folks, it truly frustrates me when some of my customers disrespect him for having an accent. Singh doesn’t take anything for granted. He is so grateful to be here. To be on his way to becoming an American. And he clearly shows his appreciation in all his hard work. He constantly goes over the call of duty. He gets it. You have to sweat before you can reach that American Dream.

So, whenever I see all this Occupy Laziness Entitlement bullshit, it just makes me laugh….

Friday February 8, 2013:
Copping an attitude with me for not initially walking to the driver’s side in the pouring rain? Justifiable or not?

It’s amazing how obnoxious people act towards folks working in the service business. A little consideration during inclement weather goes a long way….

It’s not so much of me getting wet. Moving around the lot I’m soaked anyways. But, if I can avoid getting the wad of cash wet, it would great. Staying on the passenger side under my canopy helps to prevent this. Handling wet cash with wet gloves is not the easiest thing in the world. It only slows down productivity.

But, rude pompous idiots are just way too stupid to see that….

Thursday February 7, 2013:

BREAKING NEWS! The Pink Panther has been arrested. I repeat. The Pink Panther has been arrested! We’ll have more on this developing story on The News at Six….

Thursday February 7, 2013:
ice cream man in winter

Umm, somebody needs to tell the Ice Cream Man that it’s still winter….

Wednesday February 6, 2013:
$40 coins

So, I walked in this morning to a huge cup of nickels and dimes marked “$40.” Just asked Singh about it. All from one customer. Ummm wow?

Wednesday February 6, 2013:

In the veins of Ms. Gloria Estefan: “Immigration is gonna get’cha, Immigration is gonna get’cha, Immigration is gonna get you, The Popo is gonna get you tonight.”

Oh they are out and about in Toms River y’all. Thank God the only thing illegal about me is my smashing good looks. I should be f’n locked up for my perfect bone structure….

And in case anyone is wondering but too scared to ask, yes Singh is legally allowed to be here. Just ’cause you have an accent, it doesn’t mean you hopped the border you racist bastard….

Wednesday February 6, 2013:
Dear Sir,

Kindly stop honking your horn at me you lazy piece of shit. Get out of your fucken car and politely hand me your gas can. This is not a Sonic Drive-In you waste of space. XoXo. Kissy face, kissy face.



Tuesday February 5, 2013:

If you can’t duct it….well, you know….

Tuesday February 5, 2013:

‘Cause apparently opening the garbage can to throw away the empty TP roll would have been way too strenuous of a task. Bunch of savages in this town….

Tuesday February 5, 2013:
Top 5 Reasons Why I Hired Singh, #2: “His Unbelievable Work Ethic.”

Business has unfortunately been very slow over the last one month, due to wintry conditions and increasing prices. As a result, I told Singh yesterday to cut out early if the night continues to be desolate. I assured him that he will be paid in full regardless of when he closes shop.

My Employee of The Month just showed up to work 30 minutes early. Shocked, I asked him why.

“I closed a half hour early last night, so I showed up to work a half hour early this morning.

Rajeev: “You know you’re getting paid for a full shift, right? I told you that yesterday.”

Singh: “I know. But, it’s just how I am.”

Love this man.

Monday February 4, 2013:

I gotta admit folks. I’m a bit intrigued now….


Here ya go kids. I logged it in….

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