March 2014

Friday March 28, 2014:
Look, I understand that marijuana is slowly going to be legal throughout our great country. However, it is fucken criminal to be smoking it, with all your windows closed, with your infant child in the back seat.

A customer pulls in for a $10 fill. I smelled the car even before it got to the pump. And to my horror? A little girl sitting in the back.

Absolutely fucking disgusting….

Friday March 28, 2014:
You're My Boy Blue

“You’re My Boy Blue!”

I usually open shop anywhere between 5:30am and 5:45am. Today? Not one of those mornings. Hit snooze one too many times.

A regular customer of mine pulls in to a completely desolate station at 5:46am. Puts his car in park and waits.

10 minutes later, at 5:56am, I’m hustling to get everything turned on and ready to go. The canopy lights are still fading in as I approach his car.

“Bro, sorry to keep you waiting.”

“You’re my guy Raj. I would have waited longer. I wasn’t going anywhere.”

Business loyalty at it’s finest Ladies & Gentlemen.

Good morning y’all!

Tuesday March 25, 2014:

Chronicles of Societal Failures, Episode 4: “The Handling of Money.”

Folks, where did we go wrong? This is how a customer handed me the 20. He wasn’t the first, and he certainly won’t be the last.

How do you reach adulthood without someone saying, “Hey you know what? Perhaps you should respect money a little more.”

And let’s not forget how much of a nuisance it is for the retail clerk. I’m handling multiple customers at the same time. Meanwhile, I have to stand here with frozen fingers, flatten it out, place it with the other bills, and make change for him. It completely slows down my productivity.

I’ve said this once, and I’ll say it again. We need a “Common Sense” class put into the high school curriculum. While one can argue that it is the parent’s responsibility, clearly something is getting lost in translation here….

Monday March 24, 2014:
“Never start talking to someone with your back turned.”

Let that be your Monday morning lesson boys and girls. I almost put 3 people in a very awkward moment.

Regular customer of mine. He’s been having marital problems. He vents to me about it each and every time he comes in here.

Pulls in for his usual $20 fill. As I’m setting the pump, I open my mouth.

“So, how are things with….your car?!”

Just as “with” left my body, I had turned around and noticed that she was sitting right in the passenger seat!

I think I covered myself. At least I hope I did. We’ll see if he says anything to me the next time around….

Friday March 21, 2014:
Oh to get inside the heads of some of my customers.

A guy comes in for a $40 fill. I didn’t get the chance to chat it up, as there were other cars on the bay. Fueling now complete, he begins to drive off. But, then he stops just as he approaches the exit. He rolls down his window. He turns back at me.

“Let me give you a piece of advice. Don’t ever get married. They’re all fucken cunts.”

He then takes off.

So, how’s your day going folks?!

Friday March 21, 2014:
I just had a customer who was wearing one of those vapor e-cigarette thingies around his neck. But, the color like totally complements my shirt.

Really? This is what we’re doing now? I can so see the Marlboro Man go “That’s cute.”

Wednesday March 19, 2014:
“Don’t give me attitude. I’ll Cap’n Crunch yo ass!”

A customer comes in for a $20 fill. Cash. The twenty he hands me is partially torn off. Only half the serial number is showing.

About a year ago, I went to deposit the day’s cash at my bank and they refused one of my twenties. Surprisingly, they gave it back to me. Having been raised the right way, I did not try and pass it on to someone else. I shredded the bill and ate the loss.

I explained this very scenario to the gentleman. We argued for a little while. Finally, he opened up his wallet and gave me another bill.

Just a heads up to those who deposit cash into a bank on a regular basis….

Tuesday March 18, 2014:

You see folks? You see that right there? That’s quality snow removal….

Tuesday March 18, 2014:
A customer pulls in and honks his horn. I vivaciously come running out ensuring that I don’t get the beans above the frank.

“So sorry man. I didn’t mean to be rude. I just didn’t see you anywhere.”

“No worries. You wouldn’t have known that I was in the bathroom.”

See now kids? Why can’t ‘everyone’ around here be this nice and courteous?

I just want to be loved, is that so wrong?!

Monday March 17, 2014:
“Is being down on hard times an excuse for inaccuracy?”

It’s a legitimate question that I have. I don’t know the answer, so I’m just throwing it out there. I’m not trying to be arrogant or judgmental.

A customer comes in asking for $5 of gas. He pays me in all change. Politely, I ask him to please wait until I count every cent. He insists it’s all there. But, naturally I count anyways.

$4.79. A couple dimes and a penny short. I didn’t make a big stink about it. I wished him a good day and I let him go.

But this happens on the regular. 9 times out of 10, those who pay us in change never get it right. And I never raise hell when we’re talking less than a dollar.

So, am I allowed to be annoyed by this? Should I just accept this behavior?

I don’t know….

Tuesday March 4, 2014:
“Pissed Off Customer.”

I just had to tell a fairly regular that he can no longer use our bathroom.

Heavy set guy. Let’s just say that last time he ‘completely’ missed the toilet and Dave had to go in there and completely disinfect the entire bathroom.

I’m not going to pass judgement. Is he just neglecting himself? Does he have a medical condition? I don’t know.

But, I do know that it was a very difficult conversation to have. I treaded lightly. He got defensive.

So, I lost a $10 every other week customer. It is what it is.

Health and hygiene. #1 and #2 on my priority list….

*When you do the math, it definitely isn’t worth it. We’re talking about less than 50 cents profit on that $10 fill. So yeah. Good knowing you.

Tuesday March 4, 2014:
“What’s common sense to me is foreign to other people.”

I said that for the first time last week. And I keep having to remind myself of that.

A woman comes in for a fill with her two boys in the backseat. They could not have been more than 5 years old. Blasting rap music. I mean at serious levels.

“Nigga” this and “Nigga” that wafting through the frigid air.

Right. So, #1. Why would you want to ruin their hearing before the age of 10?!

#2. Why do I get the feeling that these children are going to spew that word in a social setting (possibly even at school) and then the record will scratch and the room will go silent?

Tales From The Pumps: People Watching Through The Eyes of a Gas Attendant….

Monday March 3, 2014:
A couple of snowed in shots….



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