November 2014

Friday November 28, 2014:
On a list of “WHY DIDN’T I THINK OF THAT,” I’d like to enter Exhibit 2B.

We try and keep quarters on hand at all times. Customers frequent our establishment to use the vacuum and air machines. But, sometimes we do run out, forcing a disgruntled customer to hop across to the 7-Eleven for change.

In need of quarters? Locate your nearest soda machine. In our case, it’s right outside our front door.
Simply drop in a dollar bill and hit the coin return button. It will give you back your dollar in 4 lovely quarters. Instant change machine.

….Aaaand that’s why we call him King Singh.

He taught me that yesterday right before I closed up shop a bit early for Thanksgiving….

Tuesday November 25, 2014:
I just had to threaten Singh with his job. Man, I’m so revved up.

First, he refused to take off Thanksgiving and let me work instead.

And if that wasn’t bad enough, he then refused to let me throw him onto a chair at the Narayanan Thanksgiving table.

But, it finally all worked out though. He quickly realized that this was an executive order. I wasn’t asking him. I was ‘telling’ him.

Sometimes, you just have to slap your employee around every now and again.

Shit. I hope he doesn’t report me to HR for that last statement. Oh wait. That’s me….

Monday November 17, 2014:
On a scale from 1 to “What The Fuck,” I’d put the following incident at a solid 8.

A guy complained to the NJ Division of Consumer Affairs that we overcharged him on a tank of propane
An hour ago, a state official stops by and confirms that we are in compliance with state rules and regulations. Naturally. As if I would cheat anybody.

Oh. Did I mention that it was the SAME guy who complained last year for the SAME THING?!

And the Division of Consumer Affairs made the same conclusion back then as well — that I’m a pretty swell guy.

Capitalism. Free markets. Our system is set up to give Joe Consumer a plethora of options. It’s not like I have a monopoly on propane.

So, why the Hell would he even continue to come here if he was dissatisfied the first time?!

And even after he was told last year itself that we’re not doing anything wrong, he tries to bring us down again?

It’s almost as if he subconsciously ‘wants’ to get ripped off.

Is there a technical phobia-type word for that?

Tuesday November 11, 2014:

Lowest price in years! 11-08-14 through 11-11-14.

Monday November 10, 2014:
A guy in a construction van speeds in and pull up to the pump. Jumps out.

“Yo, I’m getting gas, but I really have to use the bathroom quick. Is it open?”

So, I unlock the door, he does his business, and returns to get a fill.

He begins to tell me that he’s remodeling a nearby house and the owner refuses to let the workers use her bathroom.

Ummm what? Exactly what does she expect them to do? Piss in the walls before putting up the sheet rock?!

You don’t have to be BFFs with the hired help. But, at least let them relieve themselves. Damn….

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